"I wish, I wish, with all my heart..."

Story of my life.

I set myself up for disappointment.

What's the difference between being a pessimist and a realist?

We're Just Paper Dolls

I picture us to be like paper dolls. We are three dimensional though. Our body is just made up of layers upon layers of thin paper, wrapped meticulously to form a working body. See, when we start out, we are a big thick lump of paper. So much paper, you really can't even see the form of our body. Every new life experience ends up staining the paper we are made up. Now, the word 'stain' doesn't always have to have a negative connotation. It can be a good stain. Like, the first time you went potty by yourself. That, I would consider to be a very nice stain. Then there are also the markers that we take to ourselves. The self inflicted stains. Those can be like, smoking, or studying. You're the one taking the marker to yourself. Every time you are stained, the dye seeps through every layer of your being until it gets down to the core. And every time you make a new step in life, you can peel back a layer of paper. A couple of layers will get really dirty. Some will remain pretty darn clean. And at the center of all those layers is a heart. It's a pumping, working heart. Made of paper. And on it is every single stain you have ever experienced. It pumps the ink through your body, fueling you. I think I would like to color my heart with vibrant colors. Maybe throw in a couple of designs. You have to make something you're proud of. Something, that when you die, you want to present to everyone and say, "See? Look what I've done with my life. Isn't it wonderful?" How do you want your paper heart to look like once you've peeled back the final layer?

Theory of Happiness

We are now living in the perfect world. This is paradise. Humans are incapable of not being hurt, of overlooking the bad. There will always be something that will be less satisfying then something else. That will become the bad- the thing that we associate with less then pleasurable happiness- and we will wish for an even more “perfect” society. The things that go wrong in this world help you appreciate everything you have. War helps us appreciate the relative stableness of our government. Hunger helps us appreciate the greasy school lunches. Death helps us appreciate the relationships we have with other people.

I would not want to live in any other world. I do not wish for a paradise, or hope that I will someday get into heaven. Spending my life in heaven or paradise will make me lose the appreciation I have. I am proud of the way I have matured in life and the way my opinions and conscience have been shaped by the world I live in now, and I do not want to lose my beliefs by living in paradise where all of my morals and ideas would have no relevance.